I'm sad.

I broke up with Larry last week and I am very sad. I broke up with him because we had very little in common. I don't know if this is a good enough reason to break up with someone. He was and still is a very attentive guy, and very sweet to me. I am not angry or upset with him in any way, but I'm wondering if I made a mistake. I wanted him to see me play at least once and since we've broken up, he says it would hurt too much for him to see me. He hasn't seen me play at all and I wanted him to come. So it hurts me that he's not going to see me play. It is my fault, but something wasn't working, and now my heart is broken, yet again.

It happens in this life. My heart gets broken over and over again, yet I keep trying to find that one connection. At least I can find some connections in friends. Maybe that's what I need for now. Just for now. I miss riding my motorcycle with Larry already. I miss the way he smiled at me when we were riding next to each other. I miss the way he had me run my fingers through his hair to put him to sleep. I miss all these sweet things about him every day. Heck I even miss the way he annoyed the hell out of me over silly things.

As we get older, heart break becomes a kind of pain that is tolerable. It is still not as tolerable as I would like it to be, but I am dealing with it the best way I know how. Larry, I miss you terribly. I still want to be your friend, and will be there for you when you need me, any time.

For all of you who have ever been through what I'm going through now, and it never seems to get easier the more times you go through it, I am here if you need someone who will listen. That is the story of my life.

From Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem In Memoriam:27, 1850:

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.