Sunday, November 01, 2009

What does sleep mean? Part 2

Again I am up at 3:49 a.m. EST listening to the noise of the fan and rain. It's comforting at this time of night and to have peace and quiet. Jon is sleeping in my room right now. Brucee is playing with that ever annoying string of his. Tippy is sleeping and Frodo is scratching the kitty condo. They are fed so no hungry kitties meowing incessantly.

Contemplative minds develop when there is less stimulus to activate the mind for distraction. My mind is contemplating life. My life is so interesting, annoying, frustrating, great and intriguing all in one. It may be that way for many people, but right now, it is built up of so many wonderful and annoying things, it's very easy to go from frustrated to happy. This may be good to some, but there are also points when I go from being content to uncomfortable as well due to the negative stimulus that comes my way, such as work for example. The good things in my life are this: Jon, Ki Sun, Jazz band (I will be starting this week), kitty comfort, video games, and reading. Motorcycle riding is not a factor since the weather is no longer conducive for riding.

I love winter. Winter makes me think of getting cuddled up and having hot chocolate under a nice warm blanket sitting next to a fireplace. That is contentment for me, like all other comforting situations. Comfort to me is very important. To be comfortable is to be content. To be content is to be peaceful. To be peaceful is to be accepting of what life throws at you.

Life threw some pretty big hard-balls to me this year. The important aspect of it all is to grow and learn from it. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. There are life tests that can be thrown at us every now and then. There is a purpose for each and every one of these challenges. Can our stability and mind overcome the challenges of this world? Yes. Our core is what is true. We have to be bigger than those people that try to bring us down. Spitefulness is not who I am. Spitefulness is a natural emotion, but it is important to not let that run our thinking patterns when those frustrations come our way.

For example, Jon and I were driving along main street heading towards my house when a bicyclist cut in front of us. We apologized and he taunted us by circling around in front of us when the light was green. Jon got frustrated and went around him. I told Jon to turn onto Greensboro street to get away from him and he went straight instead. We were ahead of the bicyclist when he came behind us and smashed in my drivers side mirror. That was spiteful. This guy was the epitome of what an asshole really is. Jon felt spiteful. So did I. I was the calming voice that Jon needed, and I calmed myself down as well. "It's not worth it" and "consider the source" were some of my words. It is not worth letting an insignificant piece of human life to control our emotions like that. It is not worth our energy and emotion. Unimportant people do not deserve our concern. This is what I communicated to Jon. I also need to take my own advice from time to time, however it's nice to know that I have not forgotten what I need to do to be at peace.

Tippy is laying on me right now. This is part of my peace. Simple but nice, I always say. The simplest things in life that make us content add up to keep us true to ourselves.