New Years Eve

Tis the time of year for all to get drunk and to have a hangover the next morning. Granted, I won't be one of the group this year, but there are still lots of people who will. I plan to have a nice wine cooler, watch a movie, and watch the ball drop. Nothing too exciting. I have made plans to improve myself and that I shall do. I guess you could call that my "new years resolution", however, if I call it that, I may have the impulse to break that promise, like so many others do. I will just call it, "My plans" so that I may separate it from the new year gibble gabble.

Time does move on and this, ladies and gentelmen, has been one of the fastest years to fly by in my book. I didn't have much time to think about anything too substantial this year. My mind has been on hyper mode, way too busy with the here and now to notice how quickly time goes by. I choose to give every day it's just deserve this year, even though days go by so much faster than when I was little. It would take forever for a day to end when my conception of time was so much newer than it is now. But that is the cost of getting older, I suppose. We must deal with the fact that our conception of time changes, and move on the best way we, as adults, know how. So I wish everyone a prosperous new year, and may more positive changes happen than negative ones. Even if negative changes happen, may these changes not affect the positive spirit that is in each and every one of us. Good things can happen if we allow them to. Tomorrow is another day. Enjoy.

For the LOVE of Spiders!

Sarah, this post is JUST FOR YOU!!:

As soon as I moved here, I have noticed many different kinds of spiders, mostly poisonous, and odd bugs that look like spiders, but have the capacity to jump. Roaches here can be about 3 inches long and really thick, or just really tiny like a baby beetle. Too many bugs to count. However, we do occasionally get these really big spiders (Daddy long legs). The legs are just really big, but these creatures have the teeniest heads or bodies, or whatever you call it. I am anxious to move into an apartment that has less of a bug problem. I've noticed that since being here, there are seasonal bugs. The millipedes come in the summer along with all the squaky bugs and crickets. The winter bugs are beetles and spiders. Oh yes, and roaches appear all year round. So as you can see, I've had my fair share of bugs in these parts. It will be nice to take a vacation from the bug life! I've become numb to bugs in general I think, however, I will still jump at the glance of a big roach. They move fast and when you smash them, they are so big that you hate to even touch them. Yes I know. I should stop now. So I will do you all the favor of speaking no more about it. I just do like Garfield does and smash them all with a newspaper, or a shoe. No spider can get away from a massive beating with a "Happy Holidays" greeting in my book. A good spider is a dead spider. Just for you sis!!

Dreaming of Cookies!

Starting Over

As Christmas comes around, New Years is closely around the corner. Does a new year passing mean we get to make a fresh start for ourselves? A lot of people think so, which is why we have "New Years Resolutions", mostly of which people make promises and don't keep them disappointing themselves. My hypothesis is that when you start over, that means making a clean start, clearing out your old thinking patterns that were not successfull the previous year and start with some fresh ideas to make a real change in your life. Otherwise, you will still be making the same decisions based on the specific mindset you have. Some of major disappointment, and some of just plain comfort zone based decisions. Whatever the case, it is important to experience a mindset that best suites your happiness. Change is a good thing, whether or not we think so at times. Maybe the worst changes can turn out for the best. In my case, I'm sure it's true. Just think of that when you wish for a new years resolution: Whether or not you will live up to your own expectations. The only way to do this is to think differently, think of success, think of yourself. Don't disappoint yourself. You are the most importnat person. You are the person you don't want to let down. Think of yourself as successful, no matter how many hard times approach you. Those who have family and friends are never a failure. Those who know how to love are the most successful people I know.

Christmas Tree Hugs!

Tis the time of the year when everybody goes nuts; Trying to buy for the family, going in and out of stores in a rush, spending more money than they never thought they'd spend in a lifetime, and still have enough time to have a job on top of all that stuff. I know that once I visit my family, I will be relaxing from the stresses of my life. I will just forget it for then, and return to it when I get back. I'm happy we have decorated our little apartment with a faux Christmas tree, some decor such as a snow globe, and nice candles along with a wreath for our door. Even though no presents are under the tree, I have plenty of gifts. I have the gift of loving family and friends. I have the gift of my health! I'm actually getting healthy! That's amazing to me. I have the gift of a positive attitude, finally. Everything is coming together, and it's right about time. Hope everyone enjoys the holiday season. I know I will! I'll give my Christmas tree a big hug tonight!!

Christmas Trees!

Back To The Old Drawing Board

Well, because of my anxiety difficulties, and since I figured out that I was having these anxiety difficulties in the middle of November to get treatment, OIT has decided not to accept that and discharge me from the program. I can do the exams with confidence and accuracy since my treatment. They will not budge. So, in the meantime, I will be working at Papa Johns, and taking out a personal loan to get me by for right now, so I can have a place to live and still manage to eat now and then, and I will look into other alternatives. Everything happens for the best, and for a reason. I think it's a blessing in disguise and I will treat it as such. I know of a college in New Jersey that offers Bachelors Degrees in my field of study so I may pursue that after talking to my cousin who is in the medical field of my choice. I'll be okay. I know nobody doubts that, but I'm just confirming it for myself. I'm finally out from under OIT and I couldn't be happier.

Cartoons

CAT!

Feel.

As I was walking to the bus today, I noticed how cold it was. I had 44 degree winds blowing in my face, so I took the opportunity to put my scarf and my gloves on; You know, bundle up a bit. As I was walking towards the bus stop, a leaf fell to the ground. Not just fell, it danced. It swirled as if it wanted some notice that its time was up on the tree, and it lay down peacefully on the ground. The cold wind continued to breeze across my pale face while I took a big breath in, waiting for the "J" bus and putting up with the warm fuses from the other buses going by. It was relaxing in a way, because that was the only thing warm that went by as I was standing there for 15 minutes. Buses never seem to be exactly on time. At least from my experience. Just the silence of chatter, the looking and waiting, seemed all too realistic, and curiousness peaked my interest. Why were the people more quiet than usual? My assumption was that they were trying in their own little way to keep warm. Is it easier to stay warm when you aren't talking? I always figured that if you were talking and moving, you would stay warmer longer. All who were waiting for the same bus that I was were very quiet, standing in their little corners, similar to me. I wonder now if we were all just a bunch of introverts waiting for the same bus to arrive. It's possible. It's also impossible to have too much personal space when the bus is crowded to its full extent. You kind of have to go outside of your comfort zone for that one.

In other news, work went alright. I am getting tired easier. I am doing patients, but I feel like the mechanical woman. I don't feel any engagement like I used to. Maybe it's just my tiredness this week that's getting to me. I go through the motions, communicate professionally and kindly to the patients, perform the tests, and then I'm done. Don't ask me to remember any names, because even if I wanted to, I couldn't. Once in a while, I will remember that one patient who puts things into perspective, and has a positive attitude about his/her life, that really opens my eyes to how much strength in character there can be in a single human spirit. Even though this person can't walk and will never be able to, for this person to give me some uplifting comments is a miracle in itself. I believe we all have that capability; To look at a bad situation and find something good about it. It can't all be bad. There's something good in all life's little suprises.

Stupid Tests!!

I don't know what it is, but I just can't seem to do well on the tests they are throwing at me on externship. Perfectly logical answers and things that I have experienced clinically are not correct with these questions! Maybe it's me. Next test is on Physics. EEK!!! That evilness has come back to bite me in the butt! I'm still nervous, but I'll make it through somehow. As long as all the weight is not placed on these tests, I'll do just fine. Until next time!

Windy, Fall, Beautiful Day.

For the past two days, I have noticed all the beautiful trees and the leaves falling off of them. I decided to take it in as I was walking to the bus, feeling the wind across my face, and watching the leaves dance to the wind. I was jogging across the street as the wind was pushing me the opposite way. Leaves were going into my hair and swirling around my feet. I thought to myself, "this is such a beautiful time, right now". I know it sounds pretty simple, but I've been noticing the little things as of lately. The things that people just pass by and don't give a second thought to.

On another note, on Friday, I got on the J bus, what I thought was the J bus. Four of us including me found out that we got on the "D" bus instead. We requested a stop at the very end of pittsboro street and "hightailed" it to the bus stop. I had a revelation. I wasn't winded! I felt just fine, and I could do it again if I had to. I feel so much better physically and mentally. I've had such an improvement within the past month. I just feel better. That's the point. I feel like myself again. The self that I know I could be.

Have some fun!

Just thought this would brighten the mood! It sure made me laugh:-)

December is Here!

Just felt like brightening all of your days by putting this lovely cartoon up for display! Enjoy!