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I'm sad.

I broke up with Larry last week and I am very sad. I broke up with him because we had very little in common. I don't know if this is a good enough reason to break up with someone. He was and still is a very attentive guy, and very sweet to me. I am not angry or upset with him in any way, but I'm wondering if I made a mistake. I wanted him to see me play at least once and since we've broken up, he says it would hurt too much for him to see me. He hasn't seen me play at all and I wanted him to come. So it hurts me that he's not going to see me play. It is my fault, but something wasn't working, and now my heart is broken, yet again.

It happens in this life. My heart gets broken over and over again, yet I keep trying to find that one connection. At least I can find some connections in friends. Maybe that's what I need for now. Just for now. I miss riding my motorcycle with Larry already. I miss the way he smiled at me when we were riding next to each other. I miss the way he had me run my fingers through his hair to put him to sleep. I miss all these sweet things about him every day. Heck I even miss the way he annoyed the hell out of me over silly things.

As we get older, heart break becomes a kind of pain that is tolerable. It is still not as tolerable as I would like it to be, but I am dealing with it the best way I know how. Larry, I miss you terribly. I still want to be your friend, and will be there for you when you need me, any time.

For all of you who have ever been through what I'm going through now, and it never seems to get easier the more times you go through it, I am here if you need someone who will listen. That is the story of my life.

From Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem In Memoriam:27, 1850:

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

New Post

Ki Sun just made a new post on his blog! Take a look! Click the title.

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I have the freaking flu!

With a temperature of 101, and nausea and headaches along with muscle pain suggests that the flu is a likely possibility. Good thing I didn't go to work today. I wouldn't have been able to handle it. So I am home. I am home today and Darin is coming down and will be very pleased to see the "sick" me. Yeah right. I can't leave this place. I can't do anything. This sucks more than anything has sucked before. I hate when my chest hurts. It hurts worse when I talk, so good thing I am typing communication instead of talking it.

Please wish me to get better sooner than later. This happens every year to me. Hopefully it is short lived.

Italics

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The cold continues to grow a fever.

I think I have a cold, but colds don't come with fevers. So I'm wondering if I actually have a cold, or the flu. I'm not too nauseated, but my throat is scratchy and I feel like crap. You can feel like crap with both too, so I'm not sure. Maybe I have both. Who knows. I had strep and mono at one point. I could have a cold and the flu. It's possible. Maybe it's possible. I have no information to prove this.

So I sit here at a quarter till midnight wondering if I should go to work tomorrow. If I feel worse than I do today, I shall stay home, because the only way to get rid of a cold is to rest. Lets see how that works out.

Another Cold, Yay!

Yesterday around lunch time, my throat starts getting scratchy. I think nothing of it and cough, but it continues to stay that way throughout the day. I go home very very tired, and missed rehearsal, because I would have ended up coughing in my trombone the entire evening, and that's no fun. I talked to my mom and sister Stephanie, and I ended up coughing up a lung on the phone.

I decided that I need cough drops and some DayQuil to stop coughing so much. It does the job temporarily. I never woke up from coughing which is good. "I surpassed the odds", I keep telling myself. Usually when I get colds, I end up coughing all night and not getting any sleep.

When I get a sore throat, my appetite goes down drastically. So basically what I have to do is eat anyway even though I'm not necessarily hungry. I end up swallowing all the drainage and coughing it up. So in turn, I get nauseated. Fun stuff. Not really.

Spring fever they call it. Then what do they call a cold? Are colds not supposed to be strictly a winter thing? I don't mean the symptoms of a cold, I mean the wording. So if you get a cold in the spring, what is that called? Who knows. It's all the same to me. It's a cold.

Darin, my friend is coming down to visit me and his cousin he has not seen in 10 years. Bad timing. I have a cold and I have to be around him because he wants to see me! I just don't want to get him sick, and I'm afraid I might.

Darin, me and Semaj, maybe Ki Sun plan on going to the coast since Darin has never seen the east coast. Ki Sun gets off of work at 5 so we can head up around then. I still haven't figured out the minor details about it yet.

Have a good rest of the week. I will go home and get in bed. I am coldish feeling. Boo.

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Good Morning

Easier said than done if you're not a morning person. It seems that if you're not a morning person, and you are grouchy, you should have a right to be grouchy and have no one try to conform you into morning glee. So shun this expression of "Good Morning".

That's another thing; why don't people say "Happy Morning" or "Joyful Morning" or "Well Morning"? It just sounds weird after you've been saying one thing for so long. Maybe if we started saying the others, "Good Morning" would sound strange. I guess it's because we're lazy and only want to have a one syllable word before "morning" since that has two syllables. Maybe that's because it's early and we have conformed to say "Good Morning" even though we are too lazy to say a two syllable word before "morning". Who knows. There is my rant for the day. I'm tired.

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My world today.....

has been beyond stressful, but I have been able to handle it so far. I've had umpteen things to do and I didn't finish them all, however, I will get them done tomorrow. Yay for me.

My supervisor is going to be out until next week. Days for me are never steadily busy. It usually comes in spurts. I guess all work is kinda like that.

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TGIF

I shall exercise and relax. These are my plans. Relax relax relax relax relax. Maybe if I say it enough times it will actually happen. I am so tired of this week. I am sooo glad it's over. Stress upon stress. Now I will try to do the opposite. Yay! Boo for stress.

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Give me pain meds.

My back hurts. I am exercising on a regular basis, and I guess my back must not be used to the strain of it all. I felt horrible yesterday and I ended up going to Jazz Band Rehearsal anyway. That was not fulfilling like it usually is, but I still went like the "trooper" that I am. It was painful. I shall get a good nights sleep tonight, and hopefully that will help. Boo.

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Bad day yesterday.

Hope today is better. I am not writing all the stuff that went on yesterday on here. If you are family, ask Mom. If you are a best friend and I haven't told you, and I feel comfortable enough telling you, ask and I will tell you this long LONG story. I hate telling it.

Wish for a better day for me please. I need it.

Boot Camp

So I joined Peak Fitness for all of you who don't know, and I went to this "Boot Camp" class last night. It was so hard! This guy looked like Billy Blanks from "Tae Bo" and had us to 50 reps of everything. Any muscle you could possibly think about to work, we worked, with 50 reps on each side involved. Lets just say I felt like my legs could fly away at the end of the class. I am stubborn and don't stop unless I'm getting dizzy or light headed and since neither of that stuff happened, and I was hydrating myself adequately, I decided to keep going. I wasn't aware I had that much motivation until I realized that I hate not completing something that I start. So in that way, I can be stubborn. I hate half-ass doing things.

In conclusion, I'm not as sore as I thought I would be today. I may even go back tonight. Not sure yet. We'll see.

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Another Interview Down

I interviewed for the position I'm in now as a permanent employee. It took 30 minutes, and they asked me many difficult questions. I think I did okay in the interview. One will only really know if I am offered the position. I have 2 interviews down, and a second interview with the speech and audiology department at Duke University! Hopefully I will get accepted at one of the following locations. Wish me luck all.

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Autograph

I have to brag. I got an autographed picture from Joe Gibbs, the Redskins Head Coach today!! I am so excited! The Donations and Development Director knows him personally, and I got a free autographed picture! Aah!! I'm going to frame it. I'm done with my bragging=).

=)

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Dubya

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday Eve, and Friday

It is Friday eve and there is one more day until it is Friday. I am looking forward to it! I'm seeing "Doomsday" with my friend Semaj. We shall be merry and talk geekster after the movie. It shall be wonderous.

I didn't work on my paper last night which means that I must work on it tonight. I need to get it finished before next Monday. Aarg.

I need to refill my coffee. I slept for 3 hours after I got home, got up for another 2, then went back to sleep. At least I got those 3 hours I was missing during the week in. It was nice.

The day is starting. I must go and face it. I hate that saying. "Go and face the day". What if I want to butt it?

Garfield

Stapler

Trombone Kittah

I'm SLEEPY!!!

Coffee, WORK ALREADY!!!

Today

shall be very long for me. It is only 10:00 and I am uber tired. I have had 3 cups of coffee and need more sleep tonight. I shall work on my paper when I get home and be merry in my nice relaxing apartment. I need to rest! Sleep is good. I need more sleep. You probably need more sleep too.

Fans make me tired. I have a fan in my office because I get too warm some of the time. It is not good, however, when I turn on the fan, that goes away. I get very very sleepy, but I am that much further from getting heat stroke while I am working. It's great.

I hope my pointless stories have not bored you all. Very sleepy I am. I'm talking like Yoda now. Meh.

Interview

I went to an interview for a permanent position at Duke Hospital in the Speech and Audiology department as a staff assistant. They seemed to like me, and it did go very well, so hopefully I get a call back. Cross your fingers! I'll be crossing mine.

Archaeology

Carpet

Kitty Cat

Coheed in Cambria!!!!!

That's the band's name. No Cambodia. Coheed in Cambria. Very good band.

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Kitty Belly

My sink is taking over the universe

Well, my sink overflowed last night and this morning. That means it was pissed off at something I did twice in the last 12 hours. I had a hard time getting to work because of that. I couldn't brush my teeth, or clean myself up. I feel filthy, and I am in a bad mood to top it off. Not a good start to my morning to say the least.

Ki Sun called emergency maintenance and decided that since the linoleum was so incredibly wet and was getting the carpet wet, that it was justified enough to call emergency maintenance. It is horrid. I need to brush my teeth. I need to get more coffee. I was late this morning. First time ever!!!

I bought 2 CD's yesterday. Good bands. One is Mars Volta and the other is something Cambodia. I forgot the freaking name again! Ki Sun has told me at least 8 times now and I can't get it in my freaking head. I need to burn it in my brain. I will tell you it once I look in my car and find it. Boo. BOO.

Toodaloo.

UNC Mourns for loss

Wednesday, a UNC student president got shot that night. She was so very young, and to get shot in the town that I live in was a big shock. I feel sad that someone so young had her life terminated so quickly over something that was a random crime, according to the report. There was no motive to kill this young girl. Her name was Eve Carson.

There is no reason for this kind of thing to happen. It's sad. Why do people take it among themselves to determine when an individual needs to die? What makes someone say, "I want to shoot that person"? She was an innocent person, and had to die for it. We are a sad species.

Click on title to see the news report. It's on National news headlines.

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Funny Funny Haha

Yay!

Tippy is fine! He was a little woozy when he came back from the vet, but he's doing just great. The veterinary clinic that I go to is so great. The staff was so very nice and understanding, and said if I had any questions to call. Tippy's breath is not bad anymore! That's weird, because ever since I've had him his breath has been over bearing at times. It's strange that I don't smell that anymore.

I'm still having to keep Tippy on wet food until he can handle dry food. His mouth is still a little sore.

I'm so relieved I got that taken care of. I would have rather spent my federal refund on something that helps him than any bills I could have paid off. He's worth more than that to me. Plus I have time to pay off these bills. It's not like they are due all at once. Geez, I sound like a mom;).

Tippy's better! I'm so happy today! =)

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Why are weekends so short?

Time flies by when you're having fun. I had a very relaxing weekend, which is rare for me. I usually spend that as a time to catch up on sleep, and do homework. I finished all my homework Saturday morning, and had Saturday evening, and Sunday all to myself to do whatever I wished. I relaxed, watched movies, listened to music, and played with kitties. My weekend was nice. It ended too soon.

Laugh.

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