Pain and Hunger

Seem to go hand in hand for me as of lately. I've had this back problem for about five years and ever since I started at Papa Johns again, that pain has become more apparent recently. My appetite has shot up the roof for some odd reason. I don't know. Maybe all the pizza is getting to me:-). Either way, aside from the pain in my back and the constant hunger, I have never been more relaxed. It's ironic really. I'm going through a period of what career is going to be right for me. I'm taking it easy, and thinking about what I like to do in my spare time. I love working, but I like to do recreational stuff too. I guess my job can be considered that to an extent. I get to slap out pizzas, throw them up in the air, make them, cut them, and serve them. It's like playing with silly putty or an easy bake oven. Except it's real food. I've learned that I can't do a sit down job easily at all. I get jittery when I sit for long periods of time, and depressed as well. So this job, for now, livens me up and makes me feel physically active. I like sweating, and working my muscles. I get to do that at work. I get to exercise at work. Not many people on the higher end of the paying pole can say that. For now I'm taking it easy, concentrating on myself and what's best for me. I'm realizing that what's important to me is to do something that I love, and not what job will make the most money from me. I'd rather have a 40,000 year job that I LOVED than a 120,000 a year job that I despised. It's not worth it to me and for many other people, it isn't either. Some people don't realize that and end up working in a job that they hate and have all the money in the world. Money does NOT buy happiness. Money just makes one more comfortable with life situations. It does not make the person inside feel better. I wish some actors and actresses realized that. If I had that much money, of course I'd buy a house. Of course I'd buy a new car. I WOULDN'T throw all my money away to have a mansion. I wouldn't buy 4 different houses if I got bored somewhere. I would definitely travel to experience all the world has to offer. I would learn what I could about the underwater habitat by taking a personal look at it for myself. I would treat myself to "field trips" and learn about the culture of a country by visiting there for a month. I want to experience it all. I hope one day I can do that. But for now, I'll have to settle for being happy for where I am today. That's all we can do. Instead of wishing where we want to go, we need to be happy where we are and how our lives are going. If there is no peaceful nature in thinking about life, then how can one experience all the wonderful NATURAl beauty that is around us every day? We need to think outside the box. Experience nature. Experience it with what we have. Not what we wish for.

Kindle of Light

I wonder why human nature is the way it is. Have you noticed that everything we think of has to do with ourselves, how things affect us directly, in our thoughts, how we feel about the situation, what we get out of the discussion, what we want to do later, chores to get done that affect our time, and so forth? I came to the realization this evening. We are very judgemental by nature. To judge is to be judged. If there are judgemental people out there, then our initial reaction is to judge them for being judgemental. So how are we not judgemental then? We are criticizing the exact thing that we have displayed in our thinking pattern. This isn't a negative thing. It is just a fact, that we are all judgemental, whether we admit it or not, because that, my friends, is human nature. We are conditioned to judge every situation, in our best interest, whether it be for comfort reasons, emotional reasons, fear, or obligation. We judge it and form an opinion about it and choose from our options that immediately gratifies ourselves in that moment. But what if that moment is based simply on our emotions? What have we gained from letting the emotional side of our minds take over so much that we forget the wise part of our minds? We all need to come to some sort of conclusion about what is best for us. Our wise minds will not tell us all the time what we want to hear. If you say you don't have a wise mind, you are lying, because you have never listened to that part of your mind that says to do what's best for you. It could be something as simple as staying home when you are sick. Saying that you don't feel well enough and you need your body to heal. Saying that this disagreement isn't worth sacrificing a valuable relationship. Your emotional mind does not have to take control.

Pride and not admitting that you have faults is just denying what every human being has. Everyone has faults. We need to not let our pride get in the way of admitting them, and then coming to the conclusion that, "Just because I have faults, I am not a faulure. I am successful in my being BECAUSE I am willing to admit my faults and can learn from my mistakes in a positive way. I can now teach others and help others. I can now help others learn and grow from what I have experienced in life". I believe that even the most prideful people can learn how to do this, if we allow our minds to go there and to resolve to that conclusion.

Frustration gets in the way too much for me sometimes. I have had to learn to let things go because that does not accomplish the goal that I set for myself. If I let my frustrations get in the way every time I tried to do something, or have a conversation, or have a disagreement, I would go crazy. I couldn't handle working where I work, I couldn't handle communicationg effectively like I have learned how to do. I would be a mess. And I've been there. I've been in a place where I was so frustrated that I couldnt' concentrate. It's not a fun place! But I have admitted that. I know I have faults and I know that I have and will continue to learn from them. It's all a matter of perspective. I know that I am a very strong person with a strong mind. I can do whatever I set my mind to, honestly and truly. It's just whether or not I WANT to do it, not whether or not I SHOULD do it. What are my priorities for ME? I have time to figure that out.

As I work my way closer to that conclusion, I will be content in knowing that I'm doing what's right for me now, in the present in this moment. Because this moment is special, and the only time that we can take action to what we seek out in this world. Worrying about the past and the future will not do us any good because the future is not here yet, and the past is gone. Being constructive about it, knowing that in "1 hour I have to be to work" and not assuming how the day is going to be before it starts is TRULY being non judgemental. Not being judgemental about yourself and how you react is also important. Not putting yourself down because your value system says you can't slip up one time, otherwise you are no longer "perfect". Allowing yourself to make mistakes and to grow from them is the greatest lesson you can give yourself. Forgive yourself and others. Forgiveness and acceptance is the way to gaining a positive outlook on life and other people around you. You can't change others, you can only change yourself. If there is something that isn't working in a positive manner in your life, change it for the better. It will only benefit you.

Step outside your comfort zone. Be fearless. Step into a more positive outlook. Confront your fears of "What's the worst thing that can happen?" and once you can handle that, you will be able to handle whatever life throws your way, with strength and dignity. Be non judgemental. Use your wise mind instead of your emotional mind. Notice what you're emotional about and learn a constructive way to deal with the situation that has given you the opportunity to react in that way. Learn to accept what you're feeling and not to judge the feeling. The current moment is not supposed to be different than it already is. The current moment is now. Read this and know what you're thinking. Notice what you're feeling, and know that it's okay. Be non judgemental about your feelings. Let your true self come out. Let your wise mind breathe.